Joe Diffie was
well ahead of today’s trend line when he released
the country / western hit “Prop Me Up Beside the
Juke Box (If I Die)”. The lyrics humorously describe
the last wishes of a barfly and the mythical image
makes you chuckle or at least it did in 1993. Look
around. Do you see any dead people? Look hard
because apparently dead people are harder to spot
today than they were 18 years ago. The perfect
example of this desensitization was seen (or not
seen) last week in an internet cafe in Taiwan. A
23-year-old was sitting in the corner playing video
games when he cardiac arrested. With 30 other
patrons passing in and out of the café, his corpse
continued playing Angry Birds for nine hours and no
one noticed he was dead. Granted, this is a news
story from Asia, but I see no reason why this
couldn’t have happened in the electronic cafes of
Seattle, San Francisco or Denver. Could progressives
capitalize on this inattentiveness for nefarious
purposes? Ponder that thought while I appear to
change horses. Don’t worry, I’ll be back.
Let’s say you own 100 cows and ten of them disappear
through the fence. When your banker learns of your
ten percent loss he will prolapse, so you saddle up,
call your dog and ride the neighboring pastures.
Your search is futile. While commiserating with
fellow cowboys over pie and coffee at the local sale
barn cafe, an eavesdropping official from the Bureau
of Labor and Statistics approaches your table. “I
couldn’t help but overhear your problem, but I have
some very good news about your cows,” he explains.
“Look at this way: Since your cows were smooth
mouthed and skinny, very likely only eight of the
missing cows were actually carrying a calf, so do
not count the two non-pregnant escapees. On paper,
this drops your loss from ten percent to eight
percent. Does that help?” You thank him for his
useful insight, but resume banging your head on the
table because you know you are still missing ten
cows regardless the magical calculations of the
shiny man in the three-piece suit. He takes you for
a fool; the kind who could play video games for nine
hours while unknowingly sitting next to a corpse and
this brings me to my point.
The Whitehouse is trumpeting Bureau of Labor and
Statistics (BLS) headlines the unemployment rate has
dropped to 8.3 percent and our economic recovery is
underway. This message is targeting a very specific
audience. Voters playing video games at the
electronic café are expected to look up, read the
MSNBC headlines, elbow the cold stiff guy sitting
next to them, and mumble “Obama’s stimulus plan must
be working.” They then click to the next kingdom of
their game and retreat back into their cocoon. Just
like not counting the non-pregnant escaped cows, the
BLS mathematically dropped 1.2 million unemployed
Americans from the job hunting list, so the
unemployment figure magically dropped to 8.3
percent.
Folks, you are being played for the fool. The fact
is the number of Americans pulling the wagon for the
Americans riding in the wagon has dropped to 30-year
low of 63.7 percent. Congressional Budget Office
figures released earlier in the week are not as
polished. They list our actual unemployment rate at
10 percent, our federal budget down another 1.1
trillion for the year, and are projecting tax
increases of 30 percent over two years on those of
us who still actually have jobs and are pulling the
wagon. If we do not recognize the job numbers as
cooked it is likely we will accept equally
preposterous things like Obamacare will magically
both cheapen and expand health coverage for all
Americans. It is time to wake up and look around for
dead people. Remember, a zombie’s vote counts just
as much as yours. (Did that scare you?)
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