I found
it—the thing which magically turns ordinary
run-of-the-mill plumbers, builders, ranchers,
lawyers, teachers, electricians, realtors, bankers,
veterinarians, laborers, insurance agents, and stock
brokers into bottom-feeding, scum sucking, career
politicians. Sunday evening, I had finished reading
the day’s news and was digging through the week’s
mail, when it all came together like flipping the
final card of a royal flush in a game of five-card
stud. Let me explain.
Our founders could have mimicked previous
civilizations and established an aristocracy where
governmental power descended from an American King.
They did not. Instead, our unique republic rests on
the principle of self-rule, necessitating these
united and sovereign states be served through a
citizen legislature. This puts ordinary people in
positions of authority where upon returning to
civilian life, they will share both the benefits and
failures of every decision they make…or they are
supposed to. After 235 years, government has become
disconnected from the citizenry and the reason
prompting my epiphany was boldly printed on the
envelopes I held in my hand.
Like clockwork, once you are elected into public
office, two things happen: First, if you are a
Christian, conservative like me, you begin receiving
hate mail from people demanding you substitute
Marxist principles of wealth redistribution for your
constitutional oath of office. They are not
particular about where, advocates for the
downtrodden just want you spending money…lots of
money. Your mail box fills with funding demands for
poor children, starving wolves, diseased bison, a
carbon-free world, and transgender electricians. You
either hold steadfast to your oath of office by
saying “no”, or your spine melts and you collapse
into a worthless heap of moderation in the middle of
the political road.
Second, when you take your oath you are granted the
title “Honorable” so-and-so. This practice
originated in the 12th century and is meant to be a
simple label of respect. The first letter you
receive addressed as such will humbly rock you back
on your heels, or it should. Over time the
salutation becomes something you barely notice; this
is okay too. The real danger occurs after a few
decades if you actually start to believe the title
and think “Honorable” is a designation of royalty.
This is why many career politicians imagine their
status is above the level of logic and law—the
decrees they hand down are only for the little
people. If you think such arrogance does not happen,
reach over and click your light switch.
If your light slowly warmed to life like an
arthritic Blue Heeler crawling from under the porch
on a cold winter morning, you can thank the
“honorable” politicians who proclaimed Americans can
only purchase Compact Fluorescent Lights (CFLs).
This law was the final sting in the climate-change
con perpetuated by Chinese companies who manufacture
CFLs. In the decades to come, Americans will waste
millions of dollars replacing cheap incandescent
light bulbs with expensive CFLs while the Chinese
and “honorable” career politicians who took
advantage of insider trading, laugh all the way to
the bank. On the bright side (if you can use bright
and CFLs in the same sentence), if career
politicians complete the global warming con and all
American electricity comes from green wind, chances
are good the lights won’t turn on anyway and your
old incandescent bulbs could last for decades. Bless
their little hearts. Now to the news story of the
second con which sparked my rambling thoughts to
write this column.
Three Florida residents bilked West Palm Beach
citizens out of millions of dollars by convincing
them the EPA had recently changed regulations and
were now requiring citizens to purchase new
earth-friendlier toilet paper. One elderly, but very
optimistic customer purchased a 70 year supply. The
three toilet paper offenders were charged, pled
guilty and are facing a 20 year prison sentence. Do
you see the difference between perpetrators scamming
people to buy useless toilet paper and those forcing
Americans to purchase equally useless CFL light
bulbs? The CFL con artists were bequeathed the title
“honorable” so they are above the law and can force
their will on their subjects down the barrel of a
gun. They could have just as easily legislated
Americans purchase earth-friendly toilet paper and
the state run media would have championed them as
heroes of the environment…and that is a royal flush.
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