Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor


The Pansy Principle

Collectivists will hate today’s message. However, it should be great fodder for conversation in local coffee gatherings so I feel obligated to bring this issue into daylight. Elitists of weak physical constitution should read no further because, contrary to what you were told in grad school, the truth will not always set you free. With my disclaimer out of the way, let’s plow ahead into the Pansy Principle; my nickname for a recent Aarhus University study published in the journal “Psychological Science”.

Using subjects in America, Argentina and Denmark, Danish researchers compared bicep size to support for economic redistribution. Their data suggested physically strong men were more likely to hold right wing political views while weaker men were more likely to support the welfare state and wealth redistribution. Interestingly, there was no demonstrable relationship between strength and political ideology in women. Upon reflection on my four terms in Montana’s House, I think their hypothesis may need some tweaking. Of the three legislators on the plus side of 300 pounds who have correspondingly large biceps, the liberal Democrat and the liberal Republican vote like Democrats, while the conservative Republican votes like a Republican. All three have the muscular density of the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man, so to improve accuracy the Pansy Principle should not apply to subjects with a Body Mass Index over 30.

Rumors are circulating Aarhus University scientists are considering follow-up studies. (The rumors are not wide spread because I just started them.) Experts are curious if boosting small bicep men up behind the wheel of a one ton, flatbed pickup powered by a Duramax, Powerstroke, or Cummins can negate the political pansy effect of the “Coexist” bumper sticker pasted to the rear of their Subaru Outback or Toyota Prius. The Big Three have expressed enthusiasm about funding this study; Subaru and Toyota, not so much.

Home     |     Products     | Copyright (c) 2009 Krayton Kerns  All rights reserved.