Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor


Take Two Aspirin and Call Your Congressman in the Morning
(November 9, 2011)

It was late June and we were trailing momma cows and calves to the top of the Big Horn Mountains for summer grazing. We had been on the trail two days, and were plodding on the county road toward the Little Horn River. Trailing a couple hundred pair down a road fenced on both sides can get boring, if it weren’t for the 20 guest cowboys helping us on this trip. They always added interesting twists.

There were a handful of calves who had misplaced their mommas poking along in the drags looking for a place to escape between the fence wires. Cowboys know there is an ideal amount of pressure which will keep them scooting along—too little and they will make a break for freedom, too much and you will force them through the fence. Rocky, a plumber in real life, had been an enthusiastic cowboy for two days and was figuring things out fast, however this time he was pushing too hard and shoved a calf through the fence. My brother, Dana, nodded at me as he saw it coming too and we both patiently stopped our horses to see what Rocky would do next. (The business taught us patience is directly proportional to how much we charge guests for the true western experience. For enough cash they could stampede the entire herd through the neighbor’s alfalfa field and we would just sit and smile.)

Fortunately, the calf just stood and bawled while Rocky trotted a couple hundred yards up the road and opened a gate into the pasture. A second guest plugged the gate as Rocky slipped around the calf and eased him along the fence. He did a nice job quietly getting the calf back into the herd and we hoped Rocky learned how to avoid repeating the mistake. Mister Phillips, my high school math teacher, taught me, “Being accurate takes less time than correcting errors.” Over the years, I have found this adage fits math, trailing cows and politics, which is why I mention it today.

A devastating policy blunder far worse than shoving a calf through the barb wire, is about to shackle Americans and red flags are waving everywhere. Will we recognize our mistake and correct it or will we blindly plow ahead? Here is my point.

To socialists, big pharmacy runs a close second to big oil as the Mount Rushmore of evil. All suffering not linked to big oil and global warming is attributed to the profit hungry demons of big pharmacy. The Occupiers on Wall Street are shocked companies like Pfizer and Merck invest millions of dollars developing new cancer drugs and then have the audacity to price those drugs at a profit. The 99-percenters have been indoctrinated this is highway robbery, and they love to see their favorite son in the Whitehouse whacking big pharmacy again, again and again. Both they and he are wrong…unfortunately for the rest of us, dead wrong.

Profit, the goal of free market capitalism, is the driving force behind all innovation. This is good. If you reflexively doubt that, name one miracle drug whose development can be traced to countries where the profit motive has been removed from the equation as it has in Cuba and China. There is none. When government wrestles control of any industry under the guise of equalizing its delivery, the quality of that product always degrades to the least common denominator. Soon aspirin will become the drug of choice for every ailment of us common peasants. Remember, President Obama and the congressional Democrats used a parliamentary sleight-of-hand to deem Obamacare as passed, and then exempted the ruling elite from the very program. Aren’t you curious why?

With Obamacare choking big pharmacy, last week a new problem stuck its nose through the fence wires. Cancer patients are suffering a shortage of critical, life-saving drugs. In response to the very problem created by government intervention, President Obama offered the solution of even more government intervention. (If something isn’t working, doing more of it is the universal big government solution.) Like a green cowboy with a new hat and a shiny belt buckle, he issued an executive order instructing the FDA to “take new steps to send out early warnings about looming shortages” and intensely monitor price gouging for any drug in short supply. President Obama is not stupid and this order is as purposeful as it is meaningless. He is certain the electorate is so misinformed they won’t recognize the danger until the healthcare noose is permanently tightened around their necks.

The lack of drugs and doctors is only the beginning and once healthcare is fully socialized, all Americans can expect to receive the same amount of misery…something there is never a shortage of in socialism. When your cancer breaks out of remission, take two aspirin and call your congressman in the morning.

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