When I
joined veterinary practice in the early 1980s, we
commonly dispensed a dog deworming medication called
Anaplex. The medication came in color coded gelatin
capsules with their size based on the dog’s weight.
As you might expect, little dogs swallowed little
pills while big dogs swallowed big pills; a fact
which seems so intuitive it wouldn’t merit a mention
in a political column, but it does and here is why.
The big pills were enormous; as big as a bratwurst.
When clients skeptically fingered the biggies and
gave me a puzzled look, I explained dogs have a
specially designed pharynx enabling them to swallow
large objects without choking. With multiple
scavengers fighting and feeding on the same carcass
in the wild, those who swallow their food whole live
longer; bolting food is a survival mechanism.
In spite of my amazing lecture about dog swallowing
physiology, clients always asked, “You don’t expect
Scooter to swallow this do you?” Yes I did, and this
brings me to my point. Even though the human pharynx
is designed for speech rather than bolting food, big
government activists expect voters to swallow
whoppers ten times bigger than the largest Anaplex
capsule. A frightening majority of citizens swallow
away never realizing they are ingesting both sides
of the same issue, so let’s slow down, chew and
taste what they are feeding us.
Public service announcements claim the biggest
public health threat to America’s poverty class is
both starvation and obesity. Regardless which
mythical evil the left is battling, the solution is
always the same; bigger government. If you swallow
the starvation crisis, the solution is government
funded school breakfast, lunch, dinner, and now
weekend food backpack programs. If you can’t quite
choke that down because you are a supporter of the
First Lady’s War on Obesity, the answer is still
more government through food police stationed in the
schools so as to enforce food pyramid rules. I tear
up when I think of the compassion the ruling class
has for we helpless unwashed too irresponsible to
care for ourselves.
If the thought a person can starve while dying of
obesity related diseases chokes you, then try
swallowing this: Man’s carbon emissions are
simultaneously causing the earth to get warmer,
colder, wetter, drier, and windier. For example,
both the drought in California and the record
freezing of the Great Lakes are caused by global
warming if you believe government sanctioned
climatology. In October of 2013, Climate Prediction
Center scientists, the self-proclaimed experts at
predicting global warming over the next 100 years,
released forecasts completely missing the severity
of our weather for the next 100 days. Using their
own Heidke Skill Score where 100 points equals’
perfection, while minus 50 equates to the accuracy
of monkeys throwing darts, these scientists scored a
whopping minus 22. A proper visual would be a
government Climate Predictor battling snowy roads in
a Chevy Volt emblazoned with a bumper sticker
boasting, “At Least I Beat the Monkey!” Voters are
expected to swallow the illusion all the world’s
weather fluctuations would magically flatten with
every day receiving the perfect amount of rain,
warmth, breeze and sunshine if we would only
institute the carbon tax.
Perhaps it is time for a mea culpa. Over my eight
year political career I have watched leftists
portray voters as ignorant; a population too foolish
to make life’s simplest decisions without the
direction of the ruling class. I have penned over
400 liberty focused op-ed columns battling the left
with logic while they fire back with raw emotional
stories of fat people starving on ice bergs
inhabited by drowning polar bears all caused by my
driving a Ford pickup powered by a V-10 and lighting
my house with 100 watt incandescent light bulbs.
Perhaps I was wrong. If the voters keep swallowing
progressive dogma, they just might be as ignorant as
the left says they are.
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