Pitchmen
know the key to sales is convincing the buyer they
are making a worthwhile investment. When properly
prepped, purchasers will then help market the
product to others, so everyone appears enlightened.
Sales for the most worthless product will spike if
enough people can be convinced of its mythical
value. Such is the story of the wildly purchased,
yet rarely analyzed, Smurf-gronificator.
Sales were slow in the beginning and purchases were
made mostly by the privileged few or those willing
to work multiple jobs to make the payments. Overtime
modifications were made to the Smurf-gronificators
to give the impression it alone was the indicator of
success. Predictably, its price rapidly outpaced
inflation, and soon ordinary people leveraged all
they owned to finance one. Watching families
hopelessly bury themselves in debt, the Marxist wing
of the federal government gained control of the
citizenry by nationalizing all Smurf-gronificator
financing programs. Pleased with the results, they
loosened the loan qualifying requirements to fit
anyone with a signature and a pulse. Almost
immediately, big government owned nearly every
American family who financed a Smurf-gronificator.
Here is the other side. Al, Russ, Dan and Lee are
four good friends of mine who are incredibly
successful in any way you might measure them. They
are Christians, they live in nice homes, have good
paying jobs, have raised or are raising good
American patriots, and not one of them owns a Smurf-gronificator.
Al came of age in the 1960s and went from high
school to the Army. Russ graduated in the ‘70s and
went straight to the oil fields of North Dakota. In
the ‘80s, Dan was working a fishing boat with his
brothers off the Florida coast before the ink was
dry on his high school diploma. Lee made a down
payment on a Smurf-gronificator in the early 2000s
before realizing he was wasting his money. Instead
of making his final two years of payments, Lee
invested in a trophy wife and went to work. Their
lives run contrary to the adage everyone must first
purchase a Smurf-gronificator to hit it big. What
gives?
This last week President Obama and presidential
candidate, Congressman Ron Paul, both thrust the
federal financing of Smurf-gronificators to the
headlines. Hence, my rambling look at it the subject
in this column.
Congressman Paul laments American families have
cumulatively heaped over one trillion dollars of
this too easily incurred debt on themselves. On the
other hand, President Obama proposed a new plan to
limit Smurf-gronificator payments to no more than
ten percent of your income. Then, magically like the
place your lap goes when you stand up, after 20
years any unpaid debt disappears. (Unfortunately,
unlike your lap, it actually doesn’t disappear; it
is dumped on taxpayers like Al, Russ, Dan and Lee.)
The Occupy Wall Street crowd cheered wildly for the
Obama plan—a mathematical impossibility which will
balloon our national debt beyond imagination.
(Apparently neither President Obama, nor the
Occupiers needed a math or economics class to get
their Smurf-gronificators.)
Here is my point. You have probably deduced Smurf-gronificator
is a term I coined for college degrees because many
university diplomas are as nonsensical and as
useless as the word itself. For example, unless your
family owns a chain of museums, the only door a
European Art History degree opens is the door to
starvation. Those of you holding BAs in American
Transgender Studies are rowing the same boat. (Sorry
if that offends a few readers, but the truth can be
cruel.)
College students are being scammed for two reasons.
First, a 22-year-old owner of an unmarketable Smurf-gronificator
with a 100,000 dollar debt is enslaved to the
lender—the federal government. For 20 years they
will vote for whichever candidate offers them the
biggest crumbs from the treasury.
Second, the 18 to 22-year-old mind is the easiest to
indoctrinate and college administrators could care
less what style Smurf-gronificator you purchase—they
just want your mind for four years. It is not
coincidence Marxist advocates gravitated to academia
in the early 1900s. They saw the benefit of
schooling minds to vote as a collective unit and
recent voting trends indicate they have been
incredibly successful. Nearly all university towns
vote Marxist blue. America is at a dangerous
crossroads where the work and the work-nots are in
conflict. What happens next?
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