Say What?

Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor

Say What?

Face masks hinder communication, but texts are worse. Last weekend, my son, Tyler, and I were knocking out a concrete wall in the basement of the house we are renovating. Because a two-stroke concrete saw efficiently turns concrete into dust and noise we communicated using gestures. Given our racket, it is not surprising we missed several texts and phone calls.

The trophy wife and Tyler’s trophy wife, Jill, were hauling gravel, and we said to call if things went south. We missed the first text. They were rolling down the highway when the dump trailer’s electronic switch mysteriously tried to empty their six-ton load. The trophy wife stomped the brakes and went to the ditch before sprinting to the lever to drop the trailer hoist. It appeared the crisis was averted until the possessed switch made a second run at dumping the load. While Druann wrestled the levers, Jill called for suggestions. Miraculously, we heard that call and suggested they disconnect the battery powering the hydraulic pump. We went back to making noise.

They were 20 minutes out so when they were a no-show after 45 minutes, we climbed from the basement to examine our phones. I texted Druann, “Are you running?”

She replied, “Tire blew off.” Having a tire “blow off” implies an explosion in man-text, but apparently, not in trophy wife-text.

This confused us but we recognized our damsels were in distress. We rousted the last two feral grandkids from the creek, loaded the pickup and headed their direction. Expecting to see a blown-out tire, we were surprised to see the trailer quietly sitting on three wheels but missing the driver’s side front tire and rim. Apparently, the auto-dump feature triggered a wobble which rounded the holes, stripped the lug nuts, and released the wheel. There was no explosion or blow-out, but because the tire was not on, labeling it off was the proper term. Imagine how confusing this texting exchange would be if the trophy wife purposely tried to distort the truth, and this brings me to my point.

The Biden economy is in a self-inflicted, free-fall and can now be called a recession as customarily defined. Rather than responsibly correcting reckless spending to make America great again, President Biden and his ruling class simply modified the definition of recession hoping the unwashed will take the fake. This would be like lunch box Joe hauling our gravel and having a tire blow off, so he limps in on three wheels while denying he started with four. Bless his little heart.


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