Flint has
few redeeming qualities other than loyalty, which is
good or bad depending on your desire for another
dose of his obnoxious company. Flint was the tragic
byproduct of a one-night stand between Suzy and a
neighboring ranch hand, appropriately nicknamed
Maverick. He was adopted into a single-parent
household deep in the urban jungle, but because he
is from country stock the confinement of the big
city had a deleterious effect on his maturing
psyche. Flint is an obnoxious stick fetcher—an
obsessive-compulsive disorder common in unemployed
Border Collies.
You can be standing around the campfire discussing
the day’s plans over your morning cup of coffee and
he will be slobbering, panting, snatching, dropping,
re-snatching and re-dropping a stick on your boots.
Exasperated by his persistence, you heave the stick
as far into the timber as possible and within
seconds he is back at your feet dropping the same
darn stick over and over again. Fetching sticks is
Flint’s life; it is all he knows so he is worthless
at everything else. This same obsessive-compulsive
behavior also infects politicians which brings me to
my point.
Within the previous month, politicians from across
our nation have fetched a slobbery stick from the
treasury and are begging voters to pat them on the
head, say “good dog”. Obsessive-compulsive disorders
are impossible to break, so it would be best to
retire these politicians. The cost of paying them
their full pensions, plus medical care, to sit in
their easy chairs all day watching Oprah, will be
far cheaper in the long run. Unfortunately, since
most voters do not understand the seriousness of
fetch, the game continues. Look at it this way:
America is broke, busted, bankrupt, penniless,
destitute, indigent, wiped-out, and
poverty-stricken, and unfortunately, the ruling
elite still have MasterCard. We have borrowed nearly
$16 trillion for free stuff we already consumed and
have set up payment plans in excess of $130 trillion
for free stuff yet to come. In spite of this,
politicians fetch money home to their districts
completely oblivious to this reality.
For example, on June 21st, Montana’s Senator Max
Baucus was wagging his tail as he fetched a nearly
500 billion dollar, five year farm bill. On Friday
July 6th, California approved a 68 billion dollar
high-speed train connecting San Francisco and Los
Angeles, while simultaneously President Obama signed
the 100 billion dollar transportation bill. All
these were spun in the media as jobs bills and there
was head patting and “that-a-boys” everywhere. This
is insane.
Forty cents of every federal dollar is borrowed, so
these programs actually redistribute debt to our
grandchildren. (I included California as federal
spending because they are so deep in debt they will
soon default and roll their red ink into the wallets
of all Americans.) Without fundamental change,
catastrophic collapse is imminent. Flint will quit
fetching sticks when I quit throwing them, and the
clowns in Washington will quit spending money when
we clowns quit rewarding them for doing so. Do you
follow?
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