Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor


Fecalopia: An Optometric Look at Politics

Veterinarians are exposed to rudimentary optometry in school, but we rarely prescribe spectacles, mostly because our patients tear them off, chew them up and swallow them. At Colorado State, my instructor used a humorous twist to explain the three optometric conditions regarding focal points, so I morphed his words into a clarifying look at politics.

1. Myopic is when light focuses in front of your retina and you can’t see far away.
2. Hyperopic is when light focuses behind your retina and you can’t see up close.
3. Fecalopic is when light doesn’t focus anywhere and you can’t see for sh**.

Of the three conditions, fecalopia is the worst because the affliction secondarily distorts your optic cortex giving you the illusion your vision is perfect. When afflicted victims are also politicians, blind stupidity is taken to devastating levels. Here is an example:

Just last week, California’s Air Resources Board unanimously passed regulations requiring by the year 2025, one in seven new vehicles sold in California must be electric powered. The Board decided if California consumers refuse to buy the green car, just as they have refused to buy green solar panels, they will force them to do such. After all, saving the planet is too important a task to leave to the unwashed. (Auto dealers in the neighboring states of Arizona and Oregon are chuckling because they are positioned to get rich selling Californians cars they actually want.)

If you look nationwide over the past six months, similar artificially propped up green companies are collapsing like a house of cards. Ener1, Solyndra, Beacon Power, Evergreen Energy, and Amonix Inc., all went bankrupt in spite of hundreds of millions of dollars in stimulus handouts, because the consumer will only purchase their product if forced—the crystal clear solution of the California’s Air Resources Board. Our posterity will shoulder the debt of our blind ignorance.

If you think we are immune to this insanity in Montana, think again. Big government manipulation of the marketplace is thriving here in the Treasure State and if you dare to look, I will show you why. The Montana Conservatives recently released their Taxpayer Advisory Bulletin (TAB) evaluating the voting records of all 150 Montana legislators during the 2011 session. You can link to it on the front page of my website, www.kraytonkerns.org. Many politicians actually think they are small government, pro-constitution, conservatives, but they vote like Ted Kennedy once in Helena. Obviously, the light in their eyes is not focusing anywhere and their optic cortex is distorted—they suffer classic fecalopia. On the other hand, my colleagues on the other side of the aisle have perfect vision and are focusing on expanding government with every vote. If a clear view of the truth is discombobulating, skip the TAB and turn immediately to the classifieds.

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