Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor


Branding Time

Late spring marks branding time for country folk and because it is labor intensive, neighbors help neighbors. If you do not lend a hand, the volunteers at your branding will dwindle until your crew becomes you, your trophy wife and a calf table. Branding then takes most of May. Unless you have a trophy-trophy wife, plan on pushing calves into the calf-table yourself, so it is far easier to help others.

Even though the specific procedures varies between brandings, most crowd the herd into a small corral before cutting nearly all cows back out to pasture. Several mommas are left with the calves to calm those frightened by all the odd sights and new sounds. Also, trying to rope the very last of 250 calves makes for great television, but it is not particularly beneficial for the calf. Leaving a dozen or so cows in the pen provides the cover for a good cowboy to ease behind the last calf, toss a loop and jerk his slack before the calf sees it is coming.

Regardless our best efforts, branding is stressful to the calf. Since the break of dawn they have been chased by strange cowboys wearing new hats and shiny belt buckles. Once corralled, they mill around confused by the stench of burning hair and bloody disinfectant. Their fear builds as they watch herd mates being roped and dragged through the smoke. You would think rather than just wait their turn, a freedom loving group of calves would charge the branding pot. After all, humans and horses also fear fire, so the panic created by a tumbling propane tank just might allow an escape. They never do, instead choosing to cower amongst the remaining cows hoping they are roped last and this brings me to my point.

Attention Democrat and progressive Republican landowners: What in the world were you thinking? In spite of repeated warnings from people like me, you voted for massive government; apparently fooled by the illusion of utopia’s unlimited freebies. Figuratively, after being corralled you blatantly ignored the early warning signs of the momma cows being cut from the herd. The roar of smoking branding pot did not scare you, because you elected this ruling class, so these are your guys. Surprise! On Wednesday, May 27th, 2015, White House rancher Barack Obama used the EPA to hand down a decree assuming federal control of all surface waters. Quicker than an emasculator slicing through a spermatic cord, every landowner’s water rights were revoked and here is how it looks in feedlot USA.

Thursday morning I was fertility testing bulls in the mud; the blessings of a recent rain. There floating in a puddle in front of the squeeze chute were six aged fly tags. As these tags contain insecticide residue and are immersed in water which could flow downstream to the High Ditch leading to the Yellowstone River, this is a violation of this new Clean Water Rule. Should the ruling class decide this particular landowner needs re-education, fines could be levied based upon said landowner’s religious or political beliefs. I am so disgusted. If there ever was a group of calves worthy of being roped, dragged and branded, it is the folks who voted for the progressive agenda, but unfortunately, we are all in the same corral and will suffer the same fate. If you wheat farmers on the arid plains do not see how this affects you, smile and say, “sage grouse.” You are next! Americans should be alarmed when a single citizen loses a property right, but patriots should panic and crash the branding pot when it happens to millions in a single blow. Had enough yet?

Home     |     Products     | Copyright (c) 2009 Krayton Kerns  All rights reserved.