Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor


Aha Moments

“Let’s fertility test bulls Tuesday, because Chelsea is home for spring break,” Steve explained as I studied my appointment book. Spring break is different for ranch kids. While the coeds at Georgetown University Law School spend their $1000 contraception subsidy frolicking on the beaches of Mexico, Sheridan College students spend spring break testing bulls. Not everyone is as lucky as Chelsea.

Thinking back to my college days, my only spring break not spent back home calving was when I stomped wool at the Tyler ranch on the Little Horn. This was my first sheep shearing experience, so I stood on top of the eight-foot stand which held the massive burlap sacks and curiously studied my new surroundings. Across the way, six empty burlap bags hung like a curtain five feet from the inside wall of the sheep barn. The owner explained ewes would be crowded into a pen before being trapped behind this burlap curtain. The two sheep-shearers would reach through the curtain, muscle out a ewe, and shear them. The ewes poured in and amazingly the curtain served as an impermeable barrier and not a single one tried to escape—something which would have certainly happened if you tried restraining cows with burlap. (Although, since then I have seen some corrals not much stronger than a curtain.) For me, it was an “aha moment;” something which had been confusing and I doubted would actually work, was suddenly perfectly clear. This brings me to my point; an “aha moment” with respect to global warming. At first you will find it hard to believe, but once studied it will make the entire climate change hoax, crystal clear. You better sit down for this.

In 2011 Danish researches at the University of Copenhagen advanced the hypothesis the recent increase of human obesity was due to global warming. (I told you to sit down.) When graphed over time, the growing Body Mass Index of humans parallels the carbon dioxide levels increased from the burning of fossil fuels. These scientists theorize breathing more CO2 makes the blood more acidic, thereby increasing orexins; neuropeptide hormones which stimulate appetite. When you are done rolling your eyes, a critical look at their data reveals the “aha moment”.

The entire man-caused global warming hoax is founded on Mann’s Hockey Stick graph showing the parallel between atmospheric CO2 and global temperatures. (Of course, to get the desired effect, Mann first erased the medieval warm period because honest temperatures looked more like a double hump camel back than a hockey stick.)

Scientists advocating man caused global warming purposely confuse coincidence with causation hoping gullible followers never learn just because two things happen over a similar timeframe are not proof one is causing the other…until today. To say global warming causes obesity is so absurd it reveals their ludicrous deception. So why would any self-respecting scientist advance such an absurd hypothesis? The answer is simple; it’s money. Any and every research project which advances the preferred theory, regardless how preposterous, receives funding. Those offering a contradictory view are never financed.

This “aha moment” clearly reveals the entire green energy movement is based on deception. The spin offs from this fraud; wind energy, Solyndra, Chevy Volts, EPA regulations affecting carbon release, and carbon cap and tax should all be stomped into a wool sack and tossed aside.

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