Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor


A Running Look at Politics

Great news! Number eight hit the ground, is dried off, and is up and sucking. (Our eighth grandchild, Liam Meredith Kerns, was born February 8th.) Several years back, the trophy wife and I pledged to pay for the college education of each of our grandchildren if they run a marathon with us every year they are in college. It was an easy pledge with the first grandchild, but it gets more ominous as our herd grows along with the estimate it will cost $50K for a college degree. (I love referring to my family as a “herd”, because it is so politically incorrect it drives the thought police of the political left absolutely insane.) Here is the logic behind our family scholarship plan:

1. It is impossible for a college student to be a chain smoking, heavy drinking, junk food junkie and then gut-check their way through a 26.2 mile race. The marathon drains you physically, emotionally and spiritually…just to get to the start line. Each recipient of our family scholarship must make physical conditioning part of their daily college routine.

2. If one of our grandchildren opts out of college to start a business or immediately enter the workforce, the $50,000 offer remains as does the requirement to run four marathons. Success comes from self-discipline.

3. Because many degrees are worthless and only line the pockets of college faculty perpetuating the myth any degree is a good investment, the trophy wife and I will only open our checkbook for acceptable fields of study.

4. Both our daughters share our exercise obsession. (Unfortunately, the $50,000 plan was not in effect when they went to college.) Over the past eight years, Meagan and Chelsie have squeezed in three marathons between the births of their seven children. Because of the metabolic drain, there should be special awards for lactating marathoners. (I know what happens to production when a Border Collie spends four hours chasing the milk cow around the pasture.)

Here is my point: There is no doubt everyone’s health would improve by losing weight and exercising. Druann and I are forcing our opinion on our posterity through our checkbook, if they chose to participate. (That is an enormous “if”.) This exact thing happens when Americans swap responsibility for security, however big government replaces choice with force. Did you realize you surrendered your exercise decisions to the federal government in the election of 2008? You did, it is called ObamaCare. In the beginning, the loss of freedom is subtle and most citizens will not recognize what is happening until it is too late. Consider this recent news story from the Bluegrass State.

Disguised as a combat maneuver in the war on childhood obesity, Kentucky has become the 21st state to track student’s body mass index (BMI) in school records. (There is no opt-out provision.) You are being prepped for the day you painfully limp before the ObamaCare, rationing czar explaining why you deserve a “free” knee replacement. After examining your BMI figures for the past fifty years, your request will be denied and you will be offered the cheaper alternative President Obama sarcastically described as giving “granny a little pain pill.” Closer to home, in Montana’s 2011 legislative session, Senator Christine Kauffman introduced SB25 monitoring childhood BMI. It was killed on the Senate floor on a 22 to 28 party line vote. (Guess which side of the aisle supported government recording how fat or skinny your children are?)

With Americans too fearful to care for themselves, this regulatory insanity becomes infectious. Look at California, the Mecca of big government, where it is now illegal to throw a Frisbee or a football on the beaches of LA County. Demonstrating a similar mindset that government always knows best, Montana Representative Robin Driscoll introduced HB314, an act prohibiting the sale of live animals, such as heeler puppies, in the parking lots of events like farm auctions. This bill appeared before the House Agriculture Committee, which I happen to chair, and it was promptly and properly terminated.

The nanny state is nothing more than stupid on steroids exemplified by SB25 and HB314; two of the 1179 bills introduced in Montana’s recent legislative session. A total of 1067 additional bills were drafted, but never introduced, thank goodness. One mistake at the ballot box and this insanity becomes law with the government wielding the power to implement their wisdom down the barrel of a gun. Vote as if your freedom is at stake, because it is.

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