Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor


Evasive Action

In 1995, the Presidential Secret Service detail solicited the services of the Yellowstone County Sheriff’s Posse; our mounted, search-and-rescue organization. Being a flatland county with few citizens ever lost in urban shopping centers, we were rarely called to duty, so a chance to provide security for President Clinton’s Air Force One, sparked infectious enthusiasm in the posse. Per instructions Al, Tim, Rob and I trailered our horses to the west gate of Billings Logan International Airport, while Bob, Bobby, Calvin and Terry entered from the east. It was three hours prior to the president’s arrival and Deputy Linder instructed us to ride back and forth inside the perimeter fence opposite the terminal and report anything unusual, at least anything more unusual than blue-shirted cowboys riding around an airport on horses.

After thirty minutes of securing the area, Bob’s horse exploded and planted him in the sagebrush at the east end of the airfield. In hindsight, this was not the best time to break in a new horse, but this was normal for Bob because, like all farmers, he thrived on high risk and unpredictability. Bob’s horse stampeded down the main runway and the radio blasted the news a loose horse was headed our direction. The airport controller was probably inexperienced because his voice was high and squeaky as he screamed about the maverick pony. Rob and I spurred our mounts towards the action. Bobby and Calvin were in hot pursuit from the east, while Terry wandered to the middle of the runway to best view the action. Terry, a non-mounted, hearing-impaired, founding posse member was unaware he was obstructing the landing zone of the busiest airport in Montana. Although futile, the novice controller grabbed the microphone and shrieked, “Get off the runway!”

Still two miles from the loose horse, but closing fast, Rob thought the controller was screaming at him, so he keyed his radio and fired back, “I’m not on the runway!” The controller groaned. The stampeding horse ran to the base of the control tower pausing long enough to be tied to a small spruce tree. Bob spent the remaining four hours foot patrolling with Terry, while his horse paced in nervous circles round and round the pine tree. With these kinks behind us and the airport fully secured, the president’s actual arrival was uneventful.

For President Clinton’s departure the following night, the Secret Service requested the posse again do security, but demanded we patrol outside the perimeter fence. Obviously, they recognized we were part of the problem, not part of the solution, so they took evasive action. June 1st, 1995 was the last time our mounted Keystone Cops were called to service and this brings me to my point. A similar and equally dangerous scenario is developing in the budget centers of our state and national capitols; we are on a path to catastrophic economic collapse, but unlike the decision made by the Secret Service, we refuse to take evasive action. By “we” I mean every American; this problem is more widespread than just those of us in the political arena. I will explain, but if the truth scares you, please stop reading now!

America has $17 trillion of rapidly accumulating debt, but we will set the federal disaster aside for now. This week, Montana’s House will deliberate the big spending bill, HB2. Comparing budgeted funds for the upcoming biennium, it appears spending will increase 1.2 percent. Included in this increase is HB322 spending $400,000 annually for owners of livestock lost to grizzly bears and wolves. Another spending spree is HB471, the Farm to School Program, redistributing $300,000 to provide locally grown produce access into the school lunch program. One bill which did not make the cut was HB98 spending $20,000 for the new school breakfast program. All of the above, plus any combination of dozens of others, are disguised wealth redistribution techniques of Marxism. Answer me this: Why should a plumber in Red Lodge donate an extra hour in labor every day for a calf eaten by a grizzly bear in Choteau, or to pay for cauliflower for children in Columbus, or provide bacon for school kids in Billings? If all the sweat of your labors only benefit others it is called slavery. What word describes the predicament when 50 percent of your labors are taken for the benefit of others? Think about it. It is time for evasive action, but this change will never begin at the top. It must come from the bottom; from those refusing consent to be governed by Marxism.

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